ambulance: wicked expensive
three doses of intravenous Dilaudid/Demerol*: wicked expensive
ultrasound: wicked expensive
CAT scan: wicked expensive
kidney stone: unbelievably painful
living in a country where affordable health care is a right and not a privilege: man, that would be priceless

* brands of narcotics subject to the fuzziness of my drugged memory

I couldn't sleep, so I played with Photoshop instead, as any reasonable person would. I think this looks like a bird, but really it's my eye. You know, with a beak. And some other stuff not usually found on my face.

It's not my fault. It's late.

The truth is, I'm all written out. Thirty pages of writing sample just about did me in, and I've been so consumed with applications that to do anything else with my time seems frivolous anyway. But here, Impatience McNags, I'll throw you a bone to chew on while I finish my work.

There were all sorts of things I meant to write about while I wasn't writing:

New Year's Eve, counting down in Prospect Park while eyeing the Manhattan skyline warily, wondering what, exactly, I was counting down toward. Only 2004, it turned out, and a little girl behind us went "EEEE" every time the fireworks popped, in fear or glee. Hard to tell. A happy new year to all, from me and the little screaming girl.

An alpaca sneezed on me. A few hours later, a Chatty Kathy at the Weepies show worked my last nerve with her stupid, splotchy, talking face. Who goes to a show and talks the whole goddamned time? And loud, too. She and the alpaca were clearly both raised in a barn. They tried to ruin my day, but I managed to put them out of my mind and enjoy the music. After the show, getting my cd signed, I chatted with Steve Tannen about Baltimore. And Deb Talan was NICE to me!!! I love them ever more. But let it be said, if I ever run into that striped-shirt prattler, I will kick her in the teeth.